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August 2014
27

Holy Redesign

Hi Followers,

I spent most of my morning (and early afternoon) staring at CSS codes, so I hope you like this new redesign! My next task is to specially tag each “ask” post so you can have stories, commentary and faith answers all in one place. Let me know what you think!

As always, here’s the link to submit a post about faith and reproductive rights: http://forthecatholicgirls.tumblr.com/submit  Don’t be shy!

xx

August 2014
13

Anonymous asked

Hi! I go to a catholic high school and this year I have to take a morality class where the topic of abortion will undoubtably come up. I'm pro choice, and I want to be able to speak my mind. Do you have any advice on how to debate with someone who's job is literally to tell me I'm wrong? Thanks!

Hi, thanks for your question! A lot of religious people come to being pro-choice for many different reasons. For some, it’s more of a philosophical thing— the question of when we get our soul, or questioning the unknown, etc. For other, it’s health reasons, or the legal implications of outlawing abortion or granting full rights to fertilized eggs. So, there can be many different points to argue.

What’s going to be tough is countering some of the colorful words or phrases they’ll probably throw at you. I used to be pro-life, so I know these well. Things like “it’s not your body, you’re not aborting your body” or “you gotta think about the baby!” etc. I think it’s important to remember that at the end of the day, these are really just emotion-based arguments, so try not to get too wrapped up in those talking points.

I would suggest that before your class, try writing down why you’re pro-choice and see if you can sum it up in a paragraph. Once you have that, look into some of the pro-life arguments and try challenging them. For example, when someone says abortion should be illegal, ask if they believe women should be arrested and charged for murder for having an abortion. Or if someone says that women should be forced to carry their rapist’s baby, ask if their rapist should then be given paternity and custody rights to the child. Or, since Catholics are against health exemptions, ask why both the woman and fetus should die when you could save the woman? And why should a woman be forced to die when she could — and wants — to be saved? 

Let me know if this helps, and I’ll think of some more good talking points.

xx

August 2014
11

Hi amazing followers,

I just wanted to say, on this beautiful day, that you are all wonderful. Thank you for your continued support and kind messages! You’re awesome.

xx

August 2014
10

gillandersons asked

i love your blog! i support reproductive rights and i love my faith, but sometimes the two seem to conflict. :/

Hi, thanks for reading! It can be hard to reconcile the two, but there is a way to be both pro-choice AND Catholic!

xx

August 2014
08

Anonymous asked

I'm Jewish but I just want to say that I love that this blog exists. So much of what I've seen from the pro-life community is Christian extremists forcing traditional beliefs on others and most religious people (regardless of faith) aren't like that. Also, since Catholicism is typically associated with being anti-abortion and anti-contraception, it's great to see such a supportive community like this making change from within. Keep up the good work :)

Thank you so much for the kind words, and glad to have you here! 

xx

August 2014
07

The right to an abortion is a constitutional right like any other.

Just suppose, Judge Thompson wrote, that the justices were to recognize an individual right to keep a gun at home for self-defense. (As of course the court did, six years ago in the Second Amendment case, District of Columbia v. Heller.) Then suppose that sellers of firearms and ammunition were regulated by the state to such an extent that there were only two vendors left. “The defenders of this law would be called upon to do a heck of a lot of explaining,” Judge Thompson said, adding, “and rightly so in the face of an effect so severe.”

 - Linda Greenhouse, The New York Times
August 2014
06

Anonymous asked

Why don't you join a church denomination that is sex positive and supportive of LGBT people? Like episcopalian?

That is an interesting question, and it’s a personal decision so there’s not one answer for everyone. For starters, once a baptized Catholic, always a Catholic. Second, it’s not so easy to go from Catholicism to Protestantism.  They’re two very, very different faiths, and a lot of people can’t make that leap (it’s not like switching from one Protestant denomination to another one). There are Catholics, however, who do convert to Episcopalian because it is the closest to Catholicism. Third, there are people who love their Catholic faith and believe being Catholic doesn’t amount to just living your life by a “Catholic checklist,” so they want change within the Church — and the best way for change is from within.

xx

August 2014
06

Submission: I’m a Liberal, Feminist, Sex-Positive, and I Want a Church Full Of Loving People

I believe my parents enrolled us in Catholic religion classes as a formality. Neither of them were very religious, but had been confirmed and had fairly religious parents. It was clear from the beginning, however, that religion would not be forced upon us. We didn’t have to enjoy the classes nor continue them past communion.

On contrary to my siblings who abhorred the classes and mass (though continued to confirmation), I rather enjoyed them. There was something comforting about the candles we lit in class and the way the priest spoke in church. As a child I was deeply anxious about a great deal of things and would often stay up all night worrying. Reciting the rosary helped me manage my anxiety and relax. When I was in eighth grade I began singing in a small choir with just two other girls and grew to love rehearsals where we’d turn off the lights and sing in the dark or when the elderly monsignor would thump down the aisle with his cane, singing back to us in a deep, booming voice. Rehearsals and the teen masses we sang at were laid back and the priest would often talk about silly things like the football game that was on or a movie that just came out. I felt safe and at home in church because I felt like I could always confide in someone there whether it be God or a priest or one of the girls I sang with.

However, something always seemed off to me.

My parents are staunchly liberal and pro-choice. I still remember the way my mom rolled her eyes when I brought home a pro-life bracelet from religion class (it was gone the next day). I remember how I ran home one day after elementary school to tell my mom in a hushed voice that a girl in gym class had told me that she was going to Washington D.C. to protest killing “babies when they’re still in their mother’s bellies.” I remember how my mom told me that that girl was lying (I called that same girl a liar the next day and she cried). My parents made it clear from a young age that they didn’t believe in some of the church’s teachings but continued to haul us to our classes and to mass so we could decide for ourselves what to believe.

In religion class, surrounded by pro-life teachers, I was confused. Who do I believe? My parents or my teachers? My parents or the priest, both whom I trusted? As I grew older, I began to understand the issue more as I grew aware of what abortion was. I tried to compensate my beliefs by taking a standoffish view towards abortion: it’s a horrible thing that people do and those people are sinners and I’d never do it, but I’ll never restrict someone from this. I thought this was a perfectly good way of viewing the issue. I tried to ignore pressures from other opposing views that the church had as well such as LGBTQ+ rights and the role of women while they made me uneasy. I thought if I just ignored them I’d finally learn to live happily in the church. Then, my class went on a retreat before our confirmations.

Our teacher at the retreat was loud, challenging and overwhelming. He publicly shamed anyone who looked remotely uninterested in what he was saying (which was about 75% of the class as we were eighth graders on a weekend) and seemed to look down on us. At one point, he made us look behind us at the empty chairs in the back of the room. This was when he said, “Those are the seats for our brothers and sisters who didn’t make it. They were murdered by their parents.” He continued on by urging us to pray for those who had been aborted and then started to shame people who have gotten abortions. Things started to come crashing down around me. I remembered earlier in the night how my friend had cried. He had been doing the same thing, but instead shaming LGBTQ+ people. She had raised her hand and inquired about her sister who was gay. In a tiny voice, she asked, “Is she going to hell?”

His response shocked me: yes, unless she gives up her sinful ways and turned back to the church. I remember my indignation. Being gay isn’t a choice. That much I knew. Being gay wasn’t something you could give up.

That’s when I realized that an abortion IS a choice. And that sometimes people have to choose it. That this man had no right to shame someone whose circumstances he wasn’t aware of. Like my friend’s sister whose circumstances he had no idea about (if he was insisting that she could give them up), he had no idea under what circumstances someone chose an abortion. I went home that night, fuming, and when I told my mom, we spent hours discussing abortion and how it’s someone’s personal choice and they have a right to it. I asked her if it makes you a bad person and she told me no. She told me about her grandmother who, in a drunken state, had confided in her about a time when she was 17 and had “made a baby go away.” She was not a bad person. She had gone on to live a full life with four children. She was not a bad person because she had made the decision not to deliver a child at 17. My mother explained to me that she had made the decision that was best for her and had she not made that decision her life would’ve been completely different in a way that she might not have enjoyed.

I did decide to get confirmed, but afterwards I resigned from church choir and have not willingly entered a church since then. After that retreat, I felt all the uncomfortable pressures come crashing down upon me. I saw the way women are treated, the way virginity is coveted, the way non-heterosexual people are rejected, and the overwhelming pressures and ignorance of a pro-life attitude. “Quitting church” allowed me to explore feminism, sexuality and choice. Now, at 18 years old, I’m sex-positive, liberal, a feminist and pro-choice. I’m in a committed, loving and sexual relationship where we’ve decided that if our multiple methods ever did fail we’d abort because now is not the time for a baby. I’m planning on working in Planned Parenthood during my college years. I’m also considering minoring in Women’s Studies along with my Political Science major which I intend to use to go into a political field where I will push for comprehensive sexual education, removal of abortion restrictions and more funding towards sexual healthcare.

I think about the church sometimes. On one hand, I believe that if I hadn’t left I would have been less likely to explore all that I love now: sexual education, feminism and politics. However, on the other hand, not having religion leaves an empty void in my life. Something less to hang onto when I lie awake at night. I plan on trying to find religion again in college. However, I’m looking for a Catholic religion that will support me if I ever need an abortion, that will not shame me for my lack of virginity, that will break down gender stereotypes, that will help me in encouraging my future children to engage in safe sexual conduct, and will accept my future children with love if they’re gay. I want a church that will stand by the belief that God will always love me and will always forgive me without the usual exceptions (“except if you’re gay…or want an abortion…”) I want a church full of loving people who follow the Lord’s teachings, not a church that uses them to hate and reject. I know that this is out there. I just haven’t found it yet. 

August 2014
06

Anonymous asked

Your blog fills me with a great deal of hope. I recently lost my faith for a lot of reasons & shitty examples of Christians in my life had a lot to do with it. So, this community you have here is really important & has really made me think more about some things. So thank you for being awesome & being a perfect example & an inspiration.

Hi, thanks so much for reading and sharing. I think building a community is one of the most important things we can do, so I’m glad you’re here! Just remember, a majority of Catholics are actually pro-choice and together, we can share our message and understanding.

xx

August 2014
05
Via   •   Source

oh-snap-pro-choice asked

I was pro life until my aunt had an abortion. My mom was discussing it over the phone and caught me eavesdropping. I told her that it was awful of my aunt to do that and she sat me down and explained that she already had three children, one already disabled to look after. Plus she would be unable to carry a pregnancy without harsh trauma to herself. It wasnt too in depth of a talk but afterwards I decided to do a bit more research. I found more logic on the pro choice side, and realized how cont

pro-choice-or-no-voice:

Abortion could seriously be needed, and how wrong it was to expect a person to give up their organs to another being when they obviously didnt want to. Then I got involved with the abortion side of tumblr and through several debates became more firm in my pro choice stance. Safe to say Pro Lifers like cultureshift really pushed me towards the pro choice side. The amount of bs and manipulation they spewed convinced me to choose logic over bigoted emotion. -Ash

^^^

Lovely story, Ash.

xx

August 2014
05

Anonymous asked

Would you be okay with an anonymous submission about LOSING my faith due to becoming pro-choice and my desire to get it back? Let me know :) love your blog you're fantastic!

Yes, please! I think that would be very important to hear, because I feel like many people lose their faith because they’re made to feel as if they’re “too prochoice” or “too much of a feminist” to be a Catholic/Christian/etc. 

You can submit a story here. Anonymous submissions are totally OK.

xx

August 2014
05

bodyspacemotionthings asked

Hello! I know you posts are about the catholic pro-choice perspective, but do you or do you know any blogs that cover sex-positivity and catholicism? My sister's boyfriend's family just found out that they are having pre-marital sex and they're freaking out about it. I'd just like some resources for them to see that they're adults and it isn't as big a deal as they're making it seem to be.

Hi! Thanks for your question, and I’m sorry to hear about your sister’s dilemma. I can direct you to Catholics for Choice, which has information and materials on sex and sexuality as a Catholic. Here’s their sex positive page, which will lead you to articles on the subject. This is also a paper on sex and the modern era from CFC’s president (very enlightening).

Please let me know if those links help!

xx

August 2014
04

yourethecheesetomymacaroni asked

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who loves the catholic faith and is also pro-choice!

You’re not the only one — and there’s more pro-choice Catholics than just the two of us! 

xx

August 2014
04

thesecretlifeofagingerflutist asked

I am so glad to read that you have gone to the March for Life. I have also been a part of the march, twice. It is one of the biggest shames and regrets in my life. But to see that there are other people who are staunchly pro-choice, who were once pro-life makes me feel less like a horrible person.

Yes, don’t worry — I know exactly how you feel! I sometimes feel sickened by it, but I also know that, as part of a Catholic youth group, I didn’t really have the choice in going. Or a choice in being anti-abortion, for that matter — we are indoctrinated with it at such a young age. It can be hard for me, too, to look back at the years when I was 100 percent against abortion, but the plus is I now truly know what the anti-abortion movement is like, and I know I’ll never be a part of it again.

Basically, you can go from staunchly pro-life to staunchly pro-choice. 

xx